Love is a many splendored thing. ~ Han Suyin
Anyone who has attended a wedding, or has seen the movie “Wedding Crashers” will have heard the oft-quoted bible passage “love is patient, love is kind.”
Even though many people can recite some of that passage from memory, we might still ask ourselves the confusing and frustrating question . . . what is love?
Everyone loves the thought of butterflies in their stomach, that fairytale romance type of feeling that comes with being “in love”. For most people, that’s not reality, but something we see only in the movies. Even when a relationship starts out totally exhilarating, where we experience that euphoric feeling of the potential of being in love, it’s often unsustainable.
Then what do we do?
You very seldom see a picture where you watch the process of falling in love. ~ Alfre Woodard
My cousin got married this year, and I realized something that might go unnoticed when it comes to love. The only parts in traditional wedding vows that really matter are the following words:
When our lives are better, richer and healthy, they’re pretty easy to deal with, and life cruises along smoothly. The true test comes when a couple has to handle adversity, pain and strife. And we can be certain that those come along sooner or later, so, what is love?
Love is sticking together because it’s worth it. When the great things outweigh the struggles. When the good times trump the bad. Of course, I would never suggest that anyone stay in an unhealthy relationship, but every relationship will face challenges at one time or another. This is where one definition of love comes into play, and often where it counts the most.
Love, above all things, is a commitment to your choice.
~ Rob Liano
If you made the choice to be in your current relationship, then be in it to win it. We all have the power of choice, unless you happen to live in a country where arranged marriages are still the rule. Even in that case, you’d still have a commitment or at least a responsibility to that relationship. For your relationship to succeed, it is important that you accept that responsibility, and commit or recommit now.
I can’t tell you how often I hear people complain about their partner, but when asked why they stay in the relationship, they say “because I love him/her.” Well, if you love them, stop complaining about them! That only makes both of you look bad.
Make this your motto: When love gets tough, love keeps growing.
We are the most important person to our spouse, lover, or partner, and with that comes responsibility. Rather than abandon someone we care about, or get frustrated and recoil, we should encourage and nurture that person.
It is important to remember that when we experience a challenging event, such as the loss of a job or a heated argument, as time passes it’s usually never as bad as it seemed in the moment. Although it can seem as if it’s the end of the world right now, it never truly is.
Imagine the impact it would make if we could show others how much we care, by showing them love and support when it matters the most. That’s why we need to stick together.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~ Robert A. Heinlein
Love Takes Time
To learn who someone really is, you need to give a relationship time. We are often blinded by the person we want to see, or the one they project to us at the start of the relationship when everyone is usually on their best behavior.
So you have to take the time to know them, not just the idea or perception you initially have of them, but their true self: their insecurities, flaws and struggles, along with their successes, dreams and good qualities.
Have you ever seen the abbreviation, BFF? It means Best Friends Forever. Isn’t that how we should look at a long term partner? You easily forgive your best friend, for the most part. You share everything with them, and have common interests, and create great memories together. You stick together through thick and thin.
That’s how a relationship can last a lifetime. That’s a formula for success!
The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.
~ B. R. Ambedkar
If you’re seeking a meaningful relationship, you must first decide what core components you need or want in a relationship, and then accept no less than someone who has most or all of those qualities. Whatever you desire, whether that be affection, spirituality, supportiveness, a sense of humor, or intelligence, you can’t find it if you don’t define it.
If you’re already involved and you found a gem, good for you, keep them close to your heart. If you feel you ended with more of a unpolished stone, maybe you should work on shining it up a bit. If you accepted a clunker, well . . .
Try to accept the bad and celebrate the good. Love, don’t shove. If you know in your heart and soul they are not the person for you, then you have a decision to make. Do you love yourself enough to let go, or do you truly love them enough to stick it out?
Will it take work? Of course, possibly a lot of work, but then everything that brings the greatest of rewards takes work. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. But maybe, if you and your partner are willing to work at your relationship, it will succeed, and you’ll both love it!
A relationship requires a lot of work and commitment.
~ Greta Scacchi
Rock Star Life Coach & Sales Strategist