There have been two unexpected deaths, my beloved cat T Bone has been diagnosed with a fatal disease and is declining faster than expected, my sister in law is in the hospital and to top it off, someone who I loved and trusted recently betrayed me.
I was talking to a friend about it and they said “man, when it rains it pours, huh?”
A Big Enough Umbrella
I’ve been thinking about that statement and . . . is it really pouring?”
Why do we perceive a few drops as a torrential storm? One event really equals one drop right? It’s not really a driving rain where we get soaked with these stressful events, is it?
What happens is that when a few things occur close enough to one another it feels like everything is going wrong all at once. The first event causes you to be stressed, vulnerable, sorrowful, anxious, worried or hurt, and now along comes another bad event and pow! Your resistance was down already and so it can seem overwhelming. If we’re still hurting or trying to recover from the first event, the second event doesn’t help, it makes it worse. And the third event seems even worse yet. The nerve huh?
Let The Sun Shine
For someone to even utter the words “when it rains it pours” it must mean that life was pretty good prior to the series of events that threw a monkey wrench into our peace and happiness, right? It was probably business as usual with only minor annoyances like a cold, a bad report card, the car breaking down, being late to drop the kids off to soccer, a credit card payment and so on. These don’t really compare to the big bad raindrops do they? Let’s find out.
Riders on the Storm
If you’re curious as to what events have the biggest impact on your health and well being, then you’re in luck. According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale here are the top 25 events (in order) that can rain down a whooping on you.
|Death of a spouse||100|
|Death of a close family member||63|
|Personal injury or illness||53|
|Dismissal from work||47|
|Change in health of family member||44|
|Gain a new family member||39|
|Change in financial state||38|
|Death of a close friend||37|
|Change to different line of work||36|
|Change in frequency of arguments||35|
|Foreclosure of mortgage or loan||30|
|Change in responsibilities at work||29|
|Child leaving home||29|
|Trouble with in-laws||29|
|Outstanding personal achievement||28|
According to this list it seems I’m at total of 100. Here’s how it’s scored:
Score of 300+: At risk of illness.
Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).
Score 150-: Only have a slight risk of illness.
This perspective confirms that it’s not really pouring in my life, it’s actually more of a light drizzle with some heavy clouds (feelings).
Yes there are significant events that seem to knock the wind out of us, and you can’t ever be fully prepared for some of them, but that doesn’t mean it’s raining T Bone’s and dogs.
(T Bone praying for healing and peace)
Whatever you’re going through, hang in there, it will pass just as it has before. Stay encouraged whether the drops splash down on you at work or in your personal life, you can get through it.
And as Annie sang, “the sun will come out . . . tomorrow.”
Rock Star Life Coach & Sales Trainer