What would you rather hear?
A: Great job!
B: I’m proud of you!
C: You suck!
Maybe that last one may seem a bit harsh, but even when someone points out our failures a bit more gently it doesn’t really feel that much better, does it? Especially when we tried our best. Let’s put aside the fact that you can control how you react and choose to brush aside other’s words so that they don’t bother you, and focus on a different point.
Does it make that boss, co-worker, supervisor, friend or family member feel good about themselves when they criticize others? Does it make you feel good about yourself when you criticize others? In either case, probably not; but if it does then you need to discern why that is.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.
This is an age where many people are ready to complain about anything and everything. Why does it seem so much easier to criticize than to praise? Shouldn’t we be understanding and compassionate towards others?
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and there are likely other factors that contributed to any event or circumstance. So we should just understand, forgive and move on to make it better in the future.
Whether it’s a child or an adult, no one likes to feel further deflated after they know they made a mistake — so choose your words wisely. If a child is already feeling guilty about breaking a lamp after running though the living room, does it help or hurt when you scold or yell at them?
Maybe if your words are constructive, tactful and said with love, but never when words are said in anger. A lamp can be replaced, a person cannot. What you choose to say and do can have a major impact on someone’s life. Better it be a positive impact.
“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.”
A little praise can go a long way. Instead of pointing out only the negatives or failures, what if everyone praised the good? My dad often has a comment when a football player celebrates after making a great play or after scoring a touchdown. “That’s what their paid to do” he says. But in effect those players are celebrating a job well done, and their teammates and coaches congratulate them. Shouldn’t we all do that?
We aren’t often told that we’re doing a great job although we need to hear it. Every human being wants attention and appreciation, so we should pump each other up, not tear each other down.
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
I’m proud of you!
How else can we encourage others? Support their goals, dreams, talents and desires. People are very quick to shoot down ideas, saying “that will never work” or “why do you want to do that?” But it’s not their own dream or desire, so maybe they aren’t supposed to understand, but that should NOT discourage you.
Instead be the supportive one. Support your friend’s and family’s dreams: Well, unless it’s something crazy like robbing a bank; then you might want to tactfully tell them they’re crazy — with love.
Sometimes we don’t need advice or correction, we only need to hear someone say, “It’s going to be okay.” That simple phrase can give us a little peace and hope, and make things better.
How can you make someone’s life better today?
Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Rock Star Life Coach & Sales Trainer